So I signed up for Planet Fitness for a couple months, hoping that I would actually use it this time instead of cancelling my membership after a month and feeling guilty for wasting money and sitting in an office all summer. I was actually somewhat successful; I went 2-3 times a week for two months, which is a world record for me. Here's what I gained from it:
1. A little bit of muscle
2. A healthy habit
3. The realization that I hate the gym
Yet, I don't hate the gym for the reasons I thought I would. I figured I'd have an issue with self-consciousness, because social anxiety has always been my biggest obstacle for trying anything new. However, I was able to get around that mental block after a few weeks of going with a buddy and blasting music in my earbuds. I also thought I might just hate exercise and give up, but after sitting at a desk all day I was anxious to get out of my chair and wear myself out.
I think what I hate about gyms is that they're just so stagnant. I usually start off on the treadmill, which is running in place until I get tired or bored. For most of the summer, I stayed on the machines and worked out a different muscle group like the gym rats do, but later learned that machines aren't very good for you because they don't move with the natural tendencies of your body (big surprise). Now I just do the Nerd Fitness body weight circuit.
And I got results: My arms look a little less like noodles and I feel like I'm getting stronger. But yesterday, as I got off a short warm-up run on the treadmill and dragged a mat off the pile, I asked myself, "what am I doing here?" First of all, my workout doesn't even require a gym, but more importantly, I was bored.
When I took a Karate class, I could bridge the conditioning to better self defense: I was getting faster and stronger and my body was a tool. When I was bouldering once a week, I was getting higher up the wall or moving onto more difficult routes. When I bike or run outside, it's a sustainable mode of transportation. All of these were functional. Doing the same thing three times a week in an air conditioned gym really wasn't.
My school's gym is a little more dynamic with a rock wall, intramural sports and "functional" classes such as kickboxing. The grocery store, though on a dangerous road, is biking distance. I'm hoping I can rework my workout without losing the structure I gained over the summer.
Wednesday, August 8, 2018
Monday, August 6, 2018
Values vs. Paycheck: Wondering What I'm Going to Do for the Rest of my Life
It takes me a long time to make a decision, and when I finally do, I follow through. At my worst this makes me both indecisive AND stubborn: every time someone asks me what I want to do after I graduate is a personal crisis because even though I understand career choices aren't a straight line, I can't jump the hurdle that whatever I choose could be permanent. I usually come up with the weak answer, "I haven't really had enough classes to decide," or "something involved in sustainability." That works now, but what about when I have to choose electives? Or when I'm actually graduating?
One of my biggest fears is selling out. I'm a compassionate person, but a little bit of an idealist. If I become a professional engineer or a project manager, it's possible that I could be working on projects that directly oppose my views on sustainability and social issues. One example of this is that I was recently reading a booklet sent out by a company advertising resilient cities, and showed off plans about big urban centers and new neighborhoods. On the surface, this was exciting: a private sector company that cared about making our cities more environmentally friendly seemed too good to be true. However, in an effort to sell their ideas, they discuss how much the rent would rise as an added benefit. With this, you have to wonder if we have an issue making green communities inclusive to people who can't afford higher rent.
This was in the middle of my internship, where I was learning about the cut-throat construction industry-- I came to realize that the profit driven nature of the private sector strays too far from my values. Owners generally go for the lowest bidder. Who decides what projects I work on, and who they're going to benefit? Even if I am working at a company that won a huge sustainability project, would my team be as interested in making an impact, or will they just be looking for a paycheck?
I've also thought about the public sector, but that also lacks some agency (pun not intended). I can't imagine how employees at the EPA feel in our political climate if they went in hoping to make an impact. However, I have not immersed myself in this side yet and want to do so before I decide that it is also not for me.
Another option I've been seriously considering is furthering my education and getting a PhD, perhaps in a field other than engineering. My practical training in engineering may translate well if I were to end up at a think take like the Earth Institute or UCLA, but becoming a tenured professor is a bit of a gamble. I do love technical writing, and I'm hoping to get some undergraduate research experience in to see if I love it enough to put that much money and time into extra schooling. I also enjoy teaching.
It's apparent I have an internal conflict going on about what my values really are. I want to be able to sustain myself AND the planet, but I'm not sure how feasibly I can get both. At this point, with three years left of undergrad, I'm just trying to get my hands on any exposure possible and talk to a wide variety of people in various aspects of industry.
One of my biggest fears is selling out. I'm a compassionate person, but a little bit of an idealist. If I become a professional engineer or a project manager, it's possible that I could be working on projects that directly oppose my views on sustainability and social issues. One example of this is that I was recently reading a booklet sent out by a company advertising resilient cities, and showed off plans about big urban centers and new neighborhoods. On the surface, this was exciting: a private sector company that cared about making our cities more environmentally friendly seemed too good to be true. However, in an effort to sell their ideas, they discuss how much the rent would rise as an added benefit. With this, you have to wonder if we have an issue making green communities inclusive to people who can't afford higher rent.
This was in the middle of my internship, where I was learning about the cut-throat construction industry-- I came to realize that the profit driven nature of the private sector strays too far from my values. Owners generally go for the lowest bidder. Who decides what projects I work on, and who they're going to benefit? Even if I am working at a company that won a huge sustainability project, would my team be as interested in making an impact, or will they just be looking for a paycheck?
I've also thought about the public sector, but that also lacks some agency (pun not intended). I can't imagine how employees at the EPA feel in our political climate if they went in hoping to make an impact. However, I have not immersed myself in this side yet and want to do so before I decide that it is also not for me.
Another option I've been seriously considering is furthering my education and getting a PhD, perhaps in a field other than engineering. My practical training in engineering may translate well if I were to end up at a think take like the Earth Institute or UCLA, but becoming a tenured professor is a bit of a gamble. I do love technical writing, and I'm hoping to get some undergraduate research experience in to see if I love it enough to put that much money and time into extra schooling. I also enjoy teaching.
It's apparent I have an internal conflict going on about what my values really are. I want to be able to sustain myself AND the planet, but I'm not sure how feasibly I can get both. At this point, with three years left of undergrad, I'm just trying to get my hands on any exposure possible and talk to a wide variety of people in various aspects of industry.
Wednesday, August 1, 2018
A Love/Hate Relationship With My Car
I moved a lot as a kid but I always lived in the suburbs (or as I like to call it, purgatory). Therefore, public transportation was awful, nothing was walking distance, and I always had to rely on my parents to drive me everywhere, which didn't always happen.
That means, when I finally found a car, it revolutionized my life. Suddenly, the possibilities were endless, and I could go and see my friends whenever I wanted to. I could go to the beach. I could get boba. I could go to the library. No more waiting for Mom to pick me up from band practice! I remember my family had me pick up Starbucks a couple days after I got my license and it was the first time driving without someone else in the passenger's seat. When I realized I wasn't going to crash and actually knew how to drive, I turned up the music and sang at the top of my lungs.
But here's the catch: I'm in Southern California. And, if you've ever lived here, you'll know first hand that the traffic is the worst in the world. At first I was staying local: I didn't get on the freeway for a whole year and stayed in my town and the surrounding areas. I didn't mind driving at this time because most of my friends were a couple miles away.
Of course the time came when I had to start using the freeway. My radius expanded: my new found freedom multiplied. My road rage started.
I'm not the kind of person who will actually confront drivers who do something stupid, but most people in the car with me know that half the time I'm screaming and swearing at everybody. At the stoplight. At the dude who just cut me off. At the lady who's tailgating me. At the traffic that came out of nowhere (and boy, does it come out of nowhere). It's taken on its own character, as sometimes I'll sing Frozen when I'm trying to keep a Suburban from passing me on the right. "Don't let them in, don't let them see!"
Maybe it's because my car is so small and I can be easily taken advantage of; maybe I just don't have to drive much while I'm at school so when I do I can't stand it. Either way, I've really come to dislike driving. Going 85+ on an open freeway is one thing but LA traffic...
So I've come to really dislike driving.
My awareness about sustainability hasn't really helped with that, either. When I drive a lot, I am actively killing planet. New roads are constructed, and then get congested, so we have to build more new roads. And yet, cars are continually made a priority over bike lanes or train tracks.
It gives me a good perspective, though: I have to drive, and so do millions of other people. There are only so many hours in a day and ultimately it's the fastest way to get from point A to point B. We could definitely deal with cutting down, though: I took the train to LA last week and it was excellent. But individuals can only do so much until cities make decisions to make sustainable options more accessible and more efficient.
That means, when I finally found a car, it revolutionized my life. Suddenly, the possibilities were endless, and I could go and see my friends whenever I wanted to. I could go to the beach. I could get boba. I could go to the library. No more waiting for Mom to pick me up from band practice! I remember my family had me pick up Starbucks a couple days after I got my license and it was the first time driving without someone else in the passenger's seat. When I realized I wasn't going to crash and actually knew how to drive, I turned up the music and sang at the top of my lungs.
But here's the catch: I'm in Southern California. And, if you've ever lived here, you'll know first hand that the traffic is the worst in the world. At first I was staying local: I didn't get on the freeway for a whole year and stayed in my town and the surrounding areas. I didn't mind driving at this time because most of my friends were a couple miles away.
Of course the time came when I had to start using the freeway. My radius expanded: my new found freedom multiplied. My road rage started.
I'm not the kind of person who will actually confront drivers who do something stupid, but most people in the car with me know that half the time I'm screaming and swearing at everybody. At the stoplight. At the dude who just cut me off. At the lady who's tailgating me. At the traffic that came out of nowhere (and boy, does it come out of nowhere). It's taken on its own character, as sometimes I'll sing Frozen when I'm trying to keep a Suburban from passing me on the right. "Don't let them in, don't let them see!"
Maybe it's because my car is so small and I can be easily taken advantage of; maybe I just don't have to drive much while I'm at school so when I do I can't stand it. Either way, I've really come to dislike driving. Going 85+ on an open freeway is one thing but LA traffic...
So I've come to really dislike driving.
My awareness about sustainability hasn't really helped with that, either. When I drive a lot, I am actively killing planet. New roads are constructed, and then get congested, so we have to build more new roads. And yet, cars are continually made a priority over bike lanes or train tracks.
It gives me a good perspective, though: I have to drive, and so do millions of other people. There are only so many hours in a day and ultimately it's the fastest way to get from point A to point B. We could definitely deal with cutting down, though: I took the train to LA last week and it was excellent. But individuals can only do so much until cities make decisions to make sustainable options more accessible and more efficient.
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